The Elephant in the Room
Why can people with ADHD be loud and heavy-footed?
If you have ADHD, you may have heard comments like, "You sound like an elephant coming up the stairs," or "Can you stop banging the doors?"—only to feel surprised because you had no idea you were being loud. Whether it’s stomping unintentionally, slamming things down, or even rolling toilet paper too loudly, these small moments of judgement can feel frustrating, confusing, hurtful and embarrassing.
But why does this happen? ADHD affects processes known as neuroception, proprioception, and auditory processing, all of which play a crucial role in how we move through and perceive the world around us. This isn’t just about being careless—it’s about neurology, sensory perception, and brain function.
Neuroception: How the Brain Detects Safety and Threat
Neuroception, a term coined by Dr Stephen Porges, refers to the brain’s ability to unconsciously detect cues of safety, danger, or threat in the environment. This is part of the polyvagal theory, which explains how the nervous system automatically interprets sensory signals before conscious thought occurs.
For those with ADHD, neuroception can be altered, leading to:
Diminished awareness of environmental feedback, making it harder to recognise our own movement and volume.
Heightened reactivity to external sounds but reduced internal awareness, meaning we may notice a loud TV across the room but not our own heavy footsteps.
Difficulty in sensory integration, causing mismatches in how force, movement, and sound are perceived.
This can make someone with ADHD unaware of how much noise they’re generating, while simultaneously being highly sensitive to certain external sounds—a frustrating paradox! And a reason for the less sensitive around us to feel we may be making noise to be disrespectful.
Proprioception: The "Sixth Sense" of Body Awareness
Proprioception is our ability to sense the position and movement of our bodies in space. It is regulated by specialised receptors in muscles, joints, and skin, providing constant feedback to the brain about movement, balance, and spatial orientation.
For many with ADHD, proprioception is dysregulated, leading to:
Misjudging force (e.g., pushing a door too hard, dropping objects, or pressing a pen too heavily when writing).
Unintentionally stomping or walking loudly because the brain isn’t receiving accurate feedback on how much force is being applied.
Frequent clumsiness or bumping into things due to difficulty gauging spatial awareness.
This means what feels like "normal" movement to someone with ADHD may be perceived as excessively forceful or loud by others.
Auditory Perception and ADHD: The Sound Processing Gap
Sound perception is not just about hearing—it’s about how the brain processes and interprets sound. Those with ADHD may experience:
Diminished self-monitoring of their own sound output, leading to louder speech, movements, or actions.
Delayed auditory feedback processing, making it harder to adjust volume in real time.
Hypersensitivity to external sounds, which can cause a subconscious compensatory reaction (e.g., speaking louder without realising it).
This means that while someone with ADHD may be highly reactive to unexpected noises, they may lack awareness of the volume of their own actions.
Living as the "Loud One"
I have often been told I am too loud, too heavy-footed, and too forceful—but I never understood what I was doing wrong.
Being told I "stomp like an elephant" when coming down the stairs, even though I thought I was walking normally.
Getting told off for rolling toilet paper too loudly, something I didn’t even realise was possible.
Being asked to "move away from the door" because my voice carried too much.
Constantly being told I was banging, slamming, or dropping things and to be more careful—even though I never felt like I was handling them roughly.
These comments have left me feeling ashamed or self-conscious and hurt. It has helped me to explain neuroception, proprioception, and auditory perception differences in ADHD, although not everyone is able to listen.
Adaptive Navigation
If you relate to this experience, here are some practical ways to manage and adapt:
Increase Body Awareness
Try activities that improve proprioception, like yoga, Tai Chi, or resistance training.
Use weighted objects (e.g., weighted blankets, compression gear) to help regulate movement awareness.
Mindful Sound and Force Awareness
Record yourself walking or talking to develop a greater awareness of volume.
Practice gentle grip exercises to fine-tune pressure sensitivity.
Use noise-reducing headphones to help balance sound perception.
Communicate with Others
Explain to friends, family, or colleagues that your brain processes movement and sound differently.
Set up gentle cues (e.g., tapping your wrist) to remind you of sound modulation.
Self-Compassion and Humour
Instead of feeling ashamed, embrace humour: Yes, I walk like an elephant—but at least I make an entrance!
Remind yourself: This is not carelessness or disrespect—it’s neurobiology. You’re not "too much"—your brain is just wired differently.
Respectful Reframing
The next time someone tells you that you’re too loud, too heavy-footed, or always dropping things, remember:
This isn’t about being inconsiderate—it’s about how your brain perceives movement, force, and sound.
Neuroception, proprioception, and auditory processing all play a role in why people with ADHD may struggle with volume control. You are simply navigating the world in a way that makes sense to your brain.
By understanding the neuroscience behind ADHD movement and perception, we can reframe self-judgement and move toward greater self-awareness and self-acceptance. We can also hope to educate others to enable them to step outside of shaming and judgemental accusations.
And if you ever hear someone say you sound like an elephant—just remind them that elephants are majestic, powerful creatures who take up space unapologetically. Maybe remind them—elephants never forget… But luckily for them, we also get easily distracted, so they might just get away with it… this time!
Paid subscribers can get the Sound Awareness Test below.
If you don’t want a regular commitment but would like to contribute to me helping others then click below to buy me a coffee!
I recently spoke about the importance of learning to work with your nervous system, which includes grounding, on UK Health Radio - click the image below to listen.
If you feel you want to try some meditations to help you reconnect with your body which can really help when trying to set boundaries, as you can learn to feel when something does and does not serve you. Click the images below to find out about the specific focus of each. All my meditations use healing frequencies, subliminal messages and binaural beats to enhance recovery - if these terms feel meaningless click, the images to find out more.
To continue to reconnect with your body more and remain mindful and present, see if any of these online courses from Rewire Trauma Therapy resonate with you:
Paid subscribers see my code below for 50% off courses over $240 dollars
Somatic Therapy Programme Link
For media enquiries please see my press page